17 days old and doing great!

My darling EJ,

You are 17 days old today. You have done a LOT this week!

1. Started pooing in your bag - and we are talking REAL poo not bile poo!
2. Gained 7 ounces in 4 days! Currently you weigh 7lbs 1oz!! :D
3. Started eating! (We are up to about an ounce each feeding!)
4. Smiling a TON! (I know they say it's gas but (A.) your farts are loud and (B.) I wanna think that you are smiling at me so there!)
5. Had your IV fluid cut in HALF! (Which helps your hunger!)
6. Got your third bath! (You were mildly upset about it but got over it fast - cause you got to eat afterwards)

It looks like you are going to be here in the NICU for Halloween and Mommy may even be staying with you but we haven't totally planned it out yet. Mommy is also happy to say that we have changed your ostomy bag 4 times! 2 of the changes have been in the last 24 hours because you moved enough to leak under the duaDerm (the skin protectant).

Grandma has been driving Mommy down to the hospital to see you pretty much every day this week! Daddy and Mommy are SO appreciative for her doing that!!!!

Today, you have eaten like a champ and Mommy is so happy that you are making progress (even though they are on your own terms). And Mommy is loving the fact that she has gotten to take care of you all day today - minus the changing of your ostomy bag and listening to your heart, lungs, and guts.

I am not sure I wanna leave today! Ha!

Mommy and Daddy love you and we are so glad you are working your way closer to coming home! (Though we still don't have an official day yet)

xoxoxoxxo
Mommy & Daddy

Two weeks old and making progress

Dearest EJ,

Well, it has been what seems like the LONGEST weekend ever! Your surgery was Thursday of last week and we have been waiting for your bowels to wake up enough to start pooping into the ostomy bag.

And after a LONG 5 days you finally started yesterday! Dr. A had the nurses remove your NG tube and you kept everything down and kept pooping and farting into the bag.

Daddy and I were so relieved! We were having such a hard time waiting because we thought your bowels would wake up faster than they did. But after a VERY difficult Monday we got the most awesome Tuesday! :)

So, now Mommy is waiting for Dr. A to make his rounds and tell Mommy what the plan is for the day. And I'm waiting on pins and needles!

We love you, Monkey!
Mommy & Daddy

Your first surgery (and bath time)

My Darling Monkey,

Yesterday was your first surgery.

You were in there for about 6 hours. We all waited on pins and needles for you to come out.

Dr. A said that you did fabulous! He brought out pictures for us to see what they did to you. Basically, they started by going in and taking a bunch of biopsies every 10 cm. The pathologist took a look at the biopsies and after two hours they finally found some live ganglion cells at the lower junction of the intestine - aka the small intestine. Which means your large intestine are all ruined.

After taking a look at the options Dr. A decided to wait to do the pull through surgery until you were a little bigger - aka doubled in size. So now you have an ileostomy bag. Dr. A said you would have it at most for 3 to 6 months but we will be meeting with him every month until you are the right size for the pull through.

BUT the good news is: Dr. A said that you could come home maybe as early as the beginning of NEXT WEEK!!!

Everyone is very excited about that. Mommy is ready to learn though. I want to know what to expect with your  ileostomy bag. I want to know how to work with it and take care of it. And preferably a bit BEFORE we bring you home!!

I am so happy that we are possibly going to have you home before your three weeks old!

So on that note! Here are some pictures of your FIRST bathtime! :)

Where's the baby??

Snug as a bug in a rug! <3

We love you Monkey man!!

Mommy & Daddy

Day 8 of life and your first surgery

My darling baby boy,
The last two days have been a whirlwind.

Recap: Dr.A came and saw Daddy and Mommy yesterday morning. He said the results from the biopsy showed you had Hirschsprung's and that he wanted to get you into surgery yesterday afternoon (but the surgical dept said no). They rescheduled the surgery for today at 7am.

We also had a lot of fun yesterday - you got your first bath AND you breastfed for the third time but you latched on perfectly and ate for a solid 5 minutes! I was so proud!

Daddy is really worried about you this morning and so is Mommy. Daddy had a tummy ache from his worrying. But Grandma said that Grandpa is so worried that he threw up this morning!

So, currently you are in surgery and your entourage here in the waiting room consists of Daddy, Mommy, Grandma, Nonnie, Boppie, Aunt Annie and Uncle Ryan.

The liason just came out to say they were starting the surgery.

Mommy will post up bath pictures and the update on the surgery later today.

We love you so fiercely!
Daddy & Mommy

The Up's and Down's of NICU Life

Dear EJ,

Today was a difficult day and yet a miraculous day.

We started out today with lots of tears and crying on Mommy's and your part. They had to move your IV as soon as Daddy and Mommy got there. So, Mommy had to walk away cause listening and watching you cry out in pain kills me. I feel bad because I know I should be there for you but if I don't walk away I am afraid I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from stopping the nurses and cry my eyes out!

Which brings me to another point that I want you to know about the first week and the last nine months of your life: Your daddy is amazing! He has been our rock and when Mommy thinks she can't deal with anything anymore your Daddy steps up and takes control of things for Mommy!! He has even made sure that Mommy takes care of herself and he's stayed on top of your care there in the NICU!

The other thing today that happened was that after the IV fiasco Mommy wasn't sure that she could keep up with the pumping and just keep going. It wasn't like I don't love you or care but Mommy was so stressed after listening to you cry. But then I held you and we worked on breastfeeding more and suddenly I remembered that I would do anything for you. That my being was complete because of you and your Daddy. I am truly amazed at what holding you can do for my soul.

Daddy and Mommy are going to see you bright and early tomorrow morning in hopes of being there when the doctor's make their rounds and to be there to see Dr. A when he comes with the results of yesterday's biopsy.

We love you handsome boy! <3

Mommy & Daddy

Your second hospital transfer

My Darling Little Monkey,

Today marks day 5 of your life in the world!! And you had a first today too!! But first to back track over the last couple of days.

So Saturday came and went without any problems. You had a blue light for you jaundice for the day. But other than that it was just irrigating your bowels every four hours.

Sunday morning we got a call from Karen, she is a transport nurse there at UNMC. Karen said that Dr. R wanted to meet with Mommy & Daddy so we got ourselves together and headed down there. Dr. R told us that there hadn't been a change in your bowel sounds yet so they wanted to transfer you to Children's Hospital. So by 2:30pm they had you loaded up and headed to Children's!

Daddy & Mommy met you there. And you were all wrapped up and relaxing. We hung out with you for a few hours so Mommy could pump.

Well then today, you had your rectal biopsy - which you didn't feel at all - and we are hoping to get the results Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday. And Mommy had her staples removed this morning - which she felt ALL of! :(

We headed out to see you and when we got there Mommy got the BEST NEWS EVER!!! You were allowed to be fed! And Mommy was allowed to BREASTFEED you!! YAY!!! We tried twice to breastfeed and the first time wasn't so pretty. But the second time with a little help from the lactation consultant you and I got about 8 minutes in with breastfeeding! Of course after about 5-10 minutes you spit most of it up! But we will try again tomorrow! :)

Oh and your G-Gma has become our savior! She agreed to get us a rental breast pump and so we will be able to continue with the pumping that won't kill Mommy when she isn't at the hospital!!! :D YAY!

I can't wait to see you tomorrow! I love you baby boy!! <3

With our love!
Mommy & Daddy

The days two and three of your little life

My Darling EJ,

Well, we are beginning a new kind of ride... From where Mommy left off last time:

Thursday you were just kinda hanging out in the NICU but it was becoming apparent that there might be a little more wrong since you hadn't pooped yet. But they wanted to watch you more so that's what they did. And while they did that Mommy worked on getting the Doctor to release her from the hospital!

On Friday morning, Mommy called the NICU to find out how you were doing. Your nurse said that you were pretty solid from not pooping and this was becoming an issue. You were uncomfortable all night long and made sure that your nurse knew it too!

Later on about 10am Mommy got released from the hospital. Grandma and Mommy were there in the NICU by 11:30! Mommy was SO relieved to FINALLY hold you and be with you in the SAME room!! <3 You were definitely uncomfortable. You were also gagging from the back up in your tummy and probably from the NG tube that had been placed in your nose (and goes down the back of your throat).

Your nurses - Rochelle and Sarah - told Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Auntie that you were going to have a barium enema around 2:30 so that they could get an idea of what was going on with your bowels and get an idea if there was a blockage. By 5pm we had results and they said you were FULL of poo and gas but weren't able to get rid of any of it. They said because of this they were calling in a pediatric surgeon to take a look at the results. Dr. A wouldn't be getting there until later Friday night so Daddy decided that Mommy needed to get home to rest because she just got out of the hospital. And the nurse said that Dr. A would call once he had come to look at you.

Dr. A called Mommy at 9pm and said that you were a beautiful baby but we needed to get you to poo! :) He said that after irrigating your bowels with 50cc's of saline some of the blockage had come out. So they were going to continue to irrigate through the night and then do an x-ray in the morning to see if anything had changed.

This morning (Saturday), when Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma got to the hospital Rochelle said that they had cleared out some poo over night but it wasn't looking like they wanted. Dr. R (another pediatric surgeon) said that they would continue to irrigate through Saturday and then Sunday morning they are going to do another x-ray. After the x-ray on Sunday they will most likely end up transferring you to Children's Hospital in Omaha.

So, tomorrow will be an interesting day.. Mommy and Daddy have figured out one thing about you though... You are stubborn just like both of us! :)

We love you Monkey!!!

Mommy & Daddy

First Letter to my BORN child!

My Darling EJ,

You are finally here. Though we knew you would come out "swingin" - I don't think that we expected you to come out needing to take a trip to Omaha so quickly!

So, I suppose I should give you the whole run down. Mommy and Daddy came to the hospital on Monday, October 10th at about 4pm to try being induced because you and mommy's body weren't getting along at this point. We started with some Cytotec (a pill that makes mommy's cervix soft) and we did three doses of it over a 12 hour period. Tuesday the doctor came in around 8am and put in a Foley Bulb Catheter. That stayed in place most of the day before it fell out on its own (which is what was supposed to happen). When the catheter fell out we were dilated to 4cm.

At this point mommy started getting some drugs because the contractions were getting harder. We started getting drugs about every couple hours - that quickly progressed to every hour though.

By Wednesday morning - after a very hard and LONG night of contractions - we hadn't gotten very far. We got to 5 or 6 cm by early morning. By this point mommy was exhausted. The doctor told mommy to try a mini epidural which would last a few hours and let us get some sleep! And by 10:30am-ish we were passed out you and I!! We slept pretty good but when we woke up we were right back at feeling the contractions. BUT we progressed to 7 or 8cm now!! So we decided to try another round of mini epidural to try and finish opening up.

Unfortunately for us, it didn't work. The doctor was then very nice and asked mommy what she wanted to do. Mommy told the doctor that she was pretty sure at this point she was too exhausted to push you out even if we were at 10cm (which we weren't). So it was decided c-section was the answer.

We got in at about 2pm on Wednesday afternoon. By 2:47pm we got to hear your beautiful voice and see your beautiful red hair! You were born 6 pounds and 11 ounces and you were 19 inches long! And as soon as you got into Daddy's arms you settled down - of course Daddy was so scared to hold you but I saw him melt! :)

Daddy and the nurse took you up to the nursery and Mommy went to recovery for a little while. When mommy got upstairs to the Labor & Delivery ward you had a TON of visitors!! Grandma and Auntie Andrea were still there of course but Nonnie and Boppy were also there!

It wasn't long after that that Daddy filled Mommy in on what was going on. You were born with a 30% collapsed lung. The doctor wanted to send you to UNMC NICU and said that you would need to be operated on to get the lung inflated.

The NICU team was really nice and told us that you had already started to heal a little and that when you got to the hospital they probably would just observe you for the evening and see how you did. They took you at about 7:15pm for your ride to UNMC. Daddy and Boppy met you up there and Daddy filled out some paperwork and got the low down on what the game plan was - and as it turns out all you needed was observation!

Mommy called your nurse (Sam) at 4am on Thursday and she said that you were off your oxygen hood and were breathing on your own! You were just hooked up to an IV for fluids and they gave you a pacifier to give you something to suck on.

Mommy is very much looking forward to seeing you again and to *FINALLY* be able to hold your cute little wrinkly butt!!!

Mommy is going to be working VERY hard today to start the healing process so that she can get out and get to you!!

Daddy and I love you so much!! We are so glad that you are stubborn like both your parents!! <3

With all my love,
Mommy

EJ born on Oct 12, 2011 at 2:47pm. He was 6 pound 11 ounces and 19 inches long.

The process of birthing a baby

My darling EJ,

Well, after two to three weeks of wreaking havoc on mommy's body the Dr suggested we try induction. So, mommy and daddy have been at the hospital since about 4:45pm on October 10th trying to get mommy's body to agree that it is time for you to come out.

So far we have done two rounds (with another round to come in about 45 minutes) of a pill that softens mommy's cervix. And the about 7:45am or so the Dr will come in and put in a bulb catheter that goes in between the cervix and the amniotic sac and (with any luck) will open us up to labor!

We are really hoping that you are ok with this plan cause mommy is retaining a whole lot of water and doesn't like being so swollen and uncomfortable all the time. And the headaches are really starting to get on my nerves.

Mommy is hoping to be able to hold you before today is done. And I would bet it's safe to say that daddy is too!

We love you baby boy!
Mommy & Daddy

36 weeks and Crazy Monkey Syndrome

My Darling EJ,

I can't believe how time has flown! 4 more weeks until your due date... Though it seems you want to get out.. Just not the traditional ways.. This weekend you have been kicking and using your elbows to try and get out of me! Hehe you are a crazy monkey!

You and I have been playing hide and seek this last week. You kick out and I push back and then you disappear and push out somewhere else. You are goofy!

Oh, and you have had the hiccups like crazy lately!!! Oh my goodness! Every time I take a breathe in - you hiccup and when I exhale you hiccup! LOL it takes me changing positions to get them to subside and sometimes that doesn't even work!

But, Daddy and I are getting VERY anxious and excited to have you here!! We want to know everything about you! What color your eyes and hair are to what kind of personality you will have! Will you be an ornery bugger like your mommy or a good kid like daddy? Will you be outgoing? What hobbies will you have?

Oh my so many questions and only time will tell! My darling baby I can't wait to hold you for the first time and know that you are part of me (and your daddy)!

Daddy and I love you very VERY much EJ!

MWAH!
Mommy

Sleep, frustration, and nervous excitement

My darling son,
You are 30 weeks and 6 days along currently. You love to move, kick, and fuss when mommy lays down. You dislike very much when mommy gets up early. And you make certain your opinion is known for most every decision that mommy makes.
Currently, mommy has been going to bed between 11pm and 2am, and in the process I have generally missed the morning time. I know that you are just preparing me for when you get here. I just wish that I wasn't so bored in the process.
Also, the lack of sleeping is making me frustrated. I miss sleeping with your daddy - because I have been sleeping on the couch due to comfort issues with the bed and lack of space.
Today was the childbirthing/breastfeeding class. Mommy (and I'm sure daddy) learned a lot about bring you into this world and what to expect from you and your arrival. It also makes me nervous to know we are really that close to having you here!
I love you my little monkey!
With my heart,
Mommy

A hope for your body..

My darling son,

Your mommy is a little "radical" you might say. Your Gma Karen like to call your mommy "bohemian". Mommy likes to think of herself as a free thinker..

Mommy has recently (within the last two years) become interested in food (I know shocker right!?) and where it comes from and what it does to the body and how it makes the body feel. Now Mommy is very much about feeling (and you will learn this as you grow my dear) and as part of feeling how her/my body feels/felt after eating meat it became VERY evident that it was meant NOT to go into her/my body.

Well, my darling, then you came along! And you, mijo, are your Daddy's son! Your Daddy is VERY much a carnivore. Note: Mommy in defense of Daddy's carnivore side has been very open to trying all/most of Mommy's vegetarian and vegan food! You, little man, have slowly started to realize that the food that Mommy doesn't (yes I do NOT) eat bland/gross food! Mommy's palate (which hopefully you will inherit) CRAVES flavor!!

My hope for you (and for our family) is to eat to feel good about ourselves. To have our bodies tell us that what we ate gave us energy, and helped to balance us rather than hinder us. My hope for us all is that we learn to know and feel our bodies and what they tell us.

I hope this for you.

Te quiero, mijo.
Tu mama

Hopes & Wishes

My Darling Baby Boy,

Last night as I tried so hard to fall asleep (and failed miserably!) my thoughts kept being drawn to you. This is my wishes and hopes for you:

I hope you are healthy.
I hope that you have a strong sense of self, like your mommy.
I hope you have a great sense of humor, like your daddy.
I hope you have a strong belief, like your G-Gma!
I hope you have a strong love of people and animals, like your Great-Granma Annie.
I hope you always know that family isn't only blood!
I hope that you always dream big!
I hope you that you always keep an open mind to new things.
I hope that the small things in life always amaze you.

I am sure that Daddy has his own list too. But that is part of mine.

I love you little man!
Mommy

Week 25

My Darling Little Man,


I know I have been telling you all about you lately, but I am gonna take a detour.


I want to write a little about how you are making me feel. And mostly, it's tired. I sleep on average right now about 10-12 hours every night. I know I like my sleep but I am starting to think that I get too much of it! I haven't had much energy lately - though that could be because of my job.. But who knows.


I have also, felt like I have been getting beat up a lot lately because someone (*cough*) you (*cough*) doesn't want to stop moving! Most of the time you only move around a lot when we are with Daddy. But other times its when I give you something you want or I give you sugar lol!


We have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon so I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!


I love you baby boy!
Mommy

24 weeks and dancing

Hello my darling EJ!

I can't believe we are already at 24 weeks!! That is 6 months today! I suppose I should get used to this feeling of time flying by for when you actually come out! I know you will be growing like crazy! <3

Today, Daddy and I moved a lot of furniture around and went through a lot of junk that we had! But the best part was that in doing all that Mommy got to start putting your room together! >.< EEP! I am so excited for you to be here, little man!

So, now I wanna show you what Mommy and Daddy have been doing and been collecting for you! :)

Here is what your G-Gma has given you:

That would be a picture of 14 of your diapers - Bum Genius 4.0. Daddy and I are going to buy 6 more of the Bum Genius 4.0 and then get 4 of the RumperRoo's

We actually wiped out T2B Baby for the Bum Genius 4.0 boys diapers. Hahaha!! The owner was blaming his wife for not ordering enough/more of them!

And this is what Ms. Jenn sent us for you:

This is your BRAND SPANKIN NEW Moby Wrap! Ms. Jenn even picked out a good dark blue color for us!! :)

I just hope that you LOVE it cause I am hoping to have you that close to me as much as possible! (Sorry, Mommy is just a little excited about you being born!!)

This is another picture of your Moby wrap. This is THE longest piece of fabric that Mommy has ever seen!! And I still need the practice for putting it on so everything is snug for you, monkey! :)









And this is all the clothes that we have collected for you!! Mommy got to put it all in your dresser tonight! :D

This is the bottom of three drawers. This has your receiving blankets and your matching outfits. Some of them are really cute and Mommy can't wait to put them on you!!! :D :D

 This is the middle drawer. It has your onies - long sleeves and short sleeves and your pants!! (Can you tell your Mommy can't wait to dress you and have you out?)

This is the top drawer. It has your hats, booties, and mittens. It, also, has your pj's and your dressing gowns. No, I don't think you are a girl (anymore) and that you need some dresses. The dressing gowns are for you to sleep in and for Mommy to have easy access to your diaper in the middle of the night! :)







I have one more picture to show you but first I want to tell you what you have been doing to Mommy lately!! The other day you decided you wanted a Fudge bar (which seems to be your single most favorite food these days) and we had one at 11am (no, it's not weird for Mommy to eat ice cream that early in the morning) and by 2pm when Daddy got home from work we had eaten EIGHT (yes I said 8!) Fudge bars! Mommy is SO sick of fudge bars that I am not sure I will be able to eat them anymore once you are born!!

The other thing you have been doing is dancing! Ok, maybe it isn't dancing so much as moving around like a crazy baby!! Oh wait I just remembered who your parents are.. You aren't crazy - it's in your genes! But goodness do you like to move my darling!! Especially when Mommy is at work!! (Daddy thinks that your moving is funny cause it makes Mommy NUTS!)

My last piece of news about you is that you ... Apparently, you didn't want Mommy to write whatever it was cause I don't remember!!

Ok and now for my last picture, which is for G-Gma and Grandma Sunday.. The EJ bump :D

 

Daddy and Mommy love you little man! We can't wait to have you here to hold!! <3

MWAH!
Mommy

21 weeks and pictures

My Darling EJ,

Well you finally showed yourself to the world last week! And mommy and daddy would like to say thank you for being so good and keeping both hands up at your face while we were looking!! We are VERY excited that you are getting so big!

Daddy is VERY excited that you are a boy and he is hoping that you will want to go to the scrap yards with him and Uncle Ben. But he understands if it's not your thing. He just wants you to be happy and healthy!

Mommy is VERY excited that you are growing!! You have recently decided your favorite thing to do to mommy is flip and then settle into mommy's pelvis where you like to recline. But mommy has to say that it's not the most comfortable feeling position for her... Just sayin!!

Our cousin was very kind and let mommy take home a HUGE amount of clothing the other day, so we got lucky cause now we have all of your clothes for the first 6 months! And Auntie gave Mommy and Daddy a bouncy chair and a vibrating chair for you as well! She also gave us a hand me down swing that looks like it's gone through a lot, so we decided we would get a newer one..

Mommy and Daddy are getting married this weekend and even though we are very excited about it. We are both more excited to be focusing on you finally! :)

We love you little man!!
Mommy & Daddy

Half way there!!!

My darling love!!!

You are half way there!!! Half way to being ready to come out to the world!!!

Tomorrow we will go and get pictures of you and hopefully you will let us find out if you are a boy or a girl!! I am very much looking forward to simply seeing you tomorrow! <3

Whether you are a boy or a girl I want you to know that I love you and simply hope you are healthy! I am guessing you are since you seem to be enjoying being able to flip over and over again!! :)

I will write more tomorrow my darling!
I love you!
Mommy

Your growing!!

My Darling Baby,

Today you are a FULL 17 weeks old!! WOW! The time has flown my darling!

You are starting to get baby fat and your skin is becoming less transparent. You are, also, starting to kick so that Mommy can feel it inside her tummy! (But the day that Daddy feels you kick for the first time - I bet he cries his eyes out!!)

Daddy and I are sooo very excited to find out what we already know - that you are a girl. But we get to wait till the first of June to find out for sure. Of course that's pending that you are going to be your Daddy's girl and cooperate!! LOL! Cause we all know that Mommy doesn't cooperate LOL!! :)

And there you are now making me nauseous! That's what you love to do! :P But I still love you silly baby!

With our love,
Mommy (& Daddy)

P.S. Thank you for the mother's day card, I want to know when you get here how you got ahold of your g-gma to write that letter! :) <3

Latest Pictures :)

 Ally & AJ at 16 weeks 5 days AJ at 15 weeks 3 days

Emerging Nursery

My Darling Baby!

Your room is coming along! :)

Thursday we moved the room around a little bit. Got the big bookcase under the window.

Today, Uncle Ryan (Daddy's friend) came and helped Daddy move the love seat out of the room! The room is turning more into your space than mine. I am sad and suddenly very excited about the change.

Mommy and Daddy can't wait for you to get here (but as Daddy said "We want you healthy and this big!")

We love you with all our hearts my darling!
Mommy (and Daddy)

Latest Doctor's Appointment

My Dear Baby,

I was too tired yesterday to tell you about the appointment we had with your Doctor yesterday so here we go!

Daddy and I went to see the Doctor. She checked Mommy's pelvis and uterus to make sure everything looked and felt right. She also did another ultrasound on you! You have grow a TON in 2 weeks!! Pretty much DOUBLED in size!! Crazy stuff!

Mommy's heartbeat is still too loud for us to be able to hear your's. But we did get to SEE you heartbeat flickering in the ultrasound which was REALLY neat! :) (Daddy was a little bummed that we didn't get to hear it.)

Great Gma called yesterday evening to make sure you are growing like you are supposed to. (I told her you are don't worry) She is VERY excited to meet you! You will be her VERY FIRST great grandbaby! :)

I think that is all I have for now.

As always, Daddy and I love you with all our hearts!!
Mommy

We have made it a quarter of the way my love!!

My darling baby,

This week we celebrate being a quarter of the way into our journey of birth!! I am 10 weeks pregnant with you!

The nausea has mostly subsided (thank you!) and now I just seem to have headaches everyday and I seem to be exhausted but wide awake!

I watched a couple of documentaries today on birthing in America and well to say the least I am disappointed in our system. Makes me want to move to another country because even though this is America (And I love our country my darling), it sometimes feels like we have gotten away from things that shouldn't be passed over in life. Birth being one of them.

Tomorrow morning, we get to go see the doctor again. She's going to do a pelvic check up on mommy. I am secretly hoping that she would also agree to check for your heartbeat again :D

OH! I almost forgot my dear! Mommy was trying to sleep a little bit ago and I don't know if this was gas or you but I swear I could feel my uterus moving around LOL! I guess you didn't like the way I was laying. Oh well.

I think that is all my darling. I love you so much! Daddy loves you so much! (And I am sure Tippi will love you too!)

With my heart!
Mommy

What you are willing to fight for.

My dear baby,

I want you to know that in life you will have to work and fight for what you want and need. This has atleast been my expierence in the last 26 years. Granted you generally pick your battles, but my darling you have to fight for the battles that count.

For example, Mommy wants to be here at home working when you get here. So, this means that I am going to have to work my little tushie off till you get here. I have found my motivation space and I need to stay in that. And you and your Daddy, are my motivation. I want to be a good Mommy and a good wife. I want to make sure that if Daddy wants to, when you get here, he can take the whole month off from work - so long as we have enough saved up for the bills.

I want to promise you my darling that I will try my damnedest NOT to tell you about our money - whether it be good or bad. I want you to be a kid, and not grow up too fast.

I will also, try very hard to share you with the world my darling! Mommy may try to be very over protective sometimes and for that I want to apologize in advance. I never really thought I would get the gift of you in my life darling. You are my heart. And your Daddy is my soul!

And before this gets WAY too mushy - Mommy is going to sign off! :)

I love you beautiful child.
Mommy

With a sigh of reluctancy

My dearest sweet baby,

Mommy is really upset with herself right now.. I feel really bad because it is looking more and more like I won't get to stay home with you on a permanent basis when you come out to the world. It's looking like mommy is going to have to go back to work..

I feel like I have let you down. I know that you are still 7 months away but I am worried that by going back to work now I am not going to be able to stay home with you. I don't want to miss any of your firsts!! I am almost disgusted with myself for not being more disciplined to make money with the few avenues that I have already! I am so angry with myself. And so sad.

Daddy is still so very excited that you are coming! He's taking such amazing care of us! We are both so very lucky to have him in our lives, my darling.

I love you so much mija! <3
Mommy

Thank you My Darling Baby!

First of all - I want to show the world the very first picture of you!

You are the two little round orbs there in my uterus! Oh what a stir you have already caused the world around you my love!! <3


Secondly, Mommy would like to take a second to say thank you to you. You have settled my nausea for the last two days! I am so thankful to be able to start feeling a bit more healthier these days! Like I can actually accomplish something without dying every 15 minutes! So, thank you my dear little one! <3


And thirdly, I love you. I love you so much that every time I think about it my heart feels like it may explode!!!  You and your Daddy are the LOVES of my life! I look forward to our meeting a little more every day!


With my heart!
Mommy

The red haze..

My Dearest Baby,

I promise when you come out into the world that mommy will not be so angry all the time! I am sure you have felt my moods change several times a day and I know it's part of the pregnancy but I am still sorry that you aren't feeling how happy and elated mommy really is about you growing in her.

I love you so dearly and even though I feel like crap a lot lately I am so truly happy and humbled that you are growing in me!

Your daddy is very excited too. Though he shows more of his stress about money and being a good daddy. The other day Daddy and I were laying on the couch watching tv and Daddy started "petting" you in my tummy! Hahaha! Your Daddy is funny and I am sure he will make you laugh all the time! :)

Hopefully, by the time you are born your fuzzy siblings will get along a little better cause right now they make me crazy!!! I have been yelling at them for two days now! :( I think that is part of the stress I feel right now..

I can't wait until Daddy and I get married and then we will all be McMurtry's :) We will be a whole family. With our 2 cats, 1 dog and 1 frog!

You will have so many different explorations just in your first year! I can't wait to watch you grow outside of the womb!

I love you mi nino!
Mommy

Nausea, Heartburn, and Motion Sickness. Oh My!

My Dear Baby,

You are wreaking havoc on your mommy's body! The heartburn I woke up with this morning wasn't as bad as it could have been. The motion sickness I have been experiencing sucks since I tend to have to keep my eye sight in one direction - namely straight ahead!

And my dear sweet child - oh have you made your mommy SO SO SO NAUSEOUS!!! I can't seem to be able to sit up for long or stand too long with out suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

But on the plus side of life. Your daddy and I get to go to meet the doctor who will bring you into the world in 7 short months! She is also going to let us hear your heartbeat - I think I HOPE!

I can't wait to hear your heartbeat!
I love you my darling!
Mommy

Dreaming of you already!

I am already dreaming of my darling daughter. Last night, you were a teenager! You got hurt and I could feel myself reach out for you to soothe you and yell for your dad at the same time! :)

You, my little sea monkey, are the love of my life (along with your daddy of course! ;P)!! You are my greatest accomplishment - even if you aren't in my arms yet. Just knowing that you are there and that the Goddess has blessed your daddy and I like this just makes my year!

We spent yesterday at Grandma Mary & Grandpa Norman's farm. We got the ok from Grandma Mary to have our wedding at the farm. And Grandma Mary is VERY excited (and I am sure once Grandpa Norm got home from work and Grandma told him, he was too!).

Next week I will be 8 weeks pregnant with you and I will have 8 weeks to get everything set for the wedding. Hopefully, this week you will work with me a little better and keep the nausea to a minimum so I can start to purge my office to turn it into a nursery for you! Don't tell Grandma Karen but she thinks she has got to come over and do it (but that's not gonna happen!)

You are quickly becoming the center of mine and Daddy's world my darling baby! We love you! <3

Into week 7 now!

Here we are at the beginning of week 7!

All the books say my little sea monkey is tiny and very sea monkey-ish! Also, I think the heartburn has subsided for a little bit (thank goodness!) and the nausea well... I haven't puked - knock on wood! - however, it's a pain in the tush trying to do anything (like standing) without getting woosy!

After much discussion Sunday night, my loving baby daddy and I decided we want to be married before the baby gets here! We are going to be getting married on May 15th! I am so excited to be marrying my best friend - and to be starting a family with him!

I am very thankful, also, that my last day working at the grocery store was this passed Saturday and I now work for myself! YAY! Which means I get to sit instead of stand constantly! Oh and that I get the bed to myself when I goto bed cause my fiancée (omg!) is at work since I am working nights now!! hahahaha

My baby god-mommy bought us a baby journal that marks all the firsts and covers the first 3 years of my baby's life! She is going to be an amazing God Mother to my child and I know that I couldn't have ask anyone better! :D

I know I am all excited above (and I really am) but in some aspect I am worried that there isn't a baby... I know it's probably because I can't feel the baby yet except the lurches when I feel like throwing up! LOL! But I still worry that there is no sea monkey in there.. :( (Worry sucks)

Now, I think it's about time I figured out what I want for my wedding since it's coming before the baby! :D YAY!

Love & Light